Times two

The most costly phrase in the English language has to be "As long as we're at it." Suddenly, we find ourselves saying it all the time.

Applied to a kitchen remodel, those six little words can have enormous consequences. And in our case, it has brought us to this: We are expecting not one new kitchen, but two.

It's twins!

It all started with a plan to relocate our range and refrigerator to the basement laundry room for the duration. I've lived through one previous kitchen renovation with the fridge in the dining room, and while it's undeniably handy to get out a gallon of milk without leaving your seat at the table, we are hoping for a slightly more upscale experience this time.

So we decided on a zoned approach: Breakfast in the dining room, so as to avoid disturbing the workers; dinner in the family room, which is in the basement. We bought a mini-fridge for the dining room, for milk, juice, yogurt, and champagne for mimosas. (Just kidding about the champagne. For now, anyway.)

Things went downhill on a trip to Home Depot (and what remodeler hasn't said that?) when we discovered a cabinet display on clearance. Eight feet of white upper and lower cabinets, a stainless-steel sink and faucet, and even a counter, all for a price that could only be called recession-tastic. It seemed like a no-brainer.

"As long as we're putting the fridge and stove down there, it would be great to have some cabinets ... and a sink ... and a disposer," I said.

Our friends John and David contributed the truck, and the manpower, to get the whole thing home. It took two trips, and we rewarded them with a skimpy selection of pizza for dinner. We owe you, guys. Big time.

Then Doyle and Will got to work and ripped out the dilapidated old cabinets, Dave built a wall, and yesterday the plumbing and electrical were roughed in. The goal is to have the basement kitchen installed before the upstairs kitchen is demolished.

All this would have been more than expensive enough. But then came this thought: As long as we're moving the range to the basement kitchen, why not let it stay there as an extra oven for holiday dinners? And teens requiring Totino's Pizza Rolls? And just get a new one for upstairs?

And as long we're getting a new range for upstairs, why not get a dual-fuel slide-in model? Only 30" wide -- so we'll still have room for a cabinet and counter on either side. But still, it's money we didn't anticipate spending when this process started.

Which is, I guess, the nature of the beast. Especially when you're expecting times two.